Quotes By Henny Youngman
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. 
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
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My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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