Quotes By Matt Groening
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. 
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Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?
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All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?' I'm trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.
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All right, brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.
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Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
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Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
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Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
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Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!
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Good things don't end in 'eum,' they end in 'mania'...or 'teria'.
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How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.
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