Quotes By Steven Wright
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. 
More quotes in Curiosity.
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Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
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I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
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I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
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I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
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If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
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It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
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It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
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Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
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