Quotes By Woody Allen
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. 
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Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
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I am at two with nature.
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I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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